Life, a little differently.: Are you looking the wrong way?

If we are always focussed on the negatives in our lives then ultimately, that's how we will feel.

When we fall into a rut or hit a hurdle (perhaps even a few in succession), it's easy to wonder, "Why do I have all the bad luck?"

Sometimes the effects of a crisis linger for far longer than they should and it's often for a very simple reason - We have become so fixated and "zoomed in" on the negatives of the situation that we completely blind ourselves to any possible way out. It's a vicious cycle and at worst, it can set us on a free fall that can be difficult to arrest. We need to make sure that we don't become preoccupied on the negatives, and one way that we can do this is to distract ourselves from the problem at hand.

One example of this that many of us might be familiar with is when you have a fight with a partner or friend. It might be at home, in a restaurant or in the car, but there's usually that moment of awkward silence when you're negative thoughts about the fight are flying around and around in your head. But, then your partner or friend pulls a stupid face or makes a joke, and almost instantly the mood swings from negative to positive. It might take more than one funny face, but before you know it the distraction disrupts the negative thoughts and you can start to turn around your thoughts and mood and you might even forget what you were fighting over in the first place.

You may have heard of the term "Phantom pain". It's a neurological condition that affects amputees. We feel pain in a limb that's not there. For me it's more often an itch I literally can't scratch, it drives me crazy! It varies in severity from person to person but can be extremely debilitating.

Last week I went swimming for the first time in a long time. Later that night when I was lying in bed, I had the worst phantom pain I've ever had before. I think the feeling of being weightless and kicking my legs in the water might have fired up the nerve endings in my leg. The pain was in my right foot and it felt as though someone was stabbing me with a long sharp knife. Every 2 minutes...bang! My leg would flinch from the shooting pain in a foot that didn't exist! It's the strangest feeling.

This went on for hours and when there was no way I could get to sleep, I decided that enough was enough. I jumped up (after I popped on my legs), boiled the kettle, filled up a hot water bottle and went back to bed. I took off the cover and placed it on my opposite thigh. It was a little hot but the heat distracted me from focussing solely on my right leg, and in turn, it reduced both the pain and the frequency of the phantom pain. Finally, I could nod off to sleep.

Sometimes by focussing on something other than the problem at hand, we can distract ourselves enough to reduce the problem's severity. When we we are preoccupied with the problem and it's symptoms, it can intensify and compound it. Focussing on other things can distract us for long enough to find a solution or gain perspective, giving ourselves a far greater chance of overcoming it.

Some issues are certainly harder to ignore than others. Be mindful when smaller, trivial matters or problems take up more of your time and energy than they're worth and begin to affect how you feel.

Change it up and refocus your energy on a solution!

Remember, if we are always focussed on the negatives in our lives then ultimately, that's how we will feel.