Do you need an update?

Sometimes when we think we can't do something, we simply don't try. A crucial, yet simple question we can ask to empower ourselves is "why"

When we ask ourselves "why" we can't do something instead of just accepting a baseless belief, we can unlock doors we assume are closed.

Beliefs are formed to help us to adapt to our environment or "to fit in". The more established a belief becomes in our minds, the harder it becomes to question or change that belief.

Recently I came across an interesting take on human belief systems by Psychotherapist Dr John Nutting. In relation to our Core Beliefs, he indicates that "even when there is clear proof or evidence available that should convince us that a core belief is out of date and no longer applicable, it's still unbelievably difficult to see this and even harder to make any change"

Based on this, our beliefs and the rules we live by must be assessed and updated regularly. And besides, living by rules and beliefs specifically created to serve us at a particular time or stage in our lives is a nonsense if our circumstance has changed, and it will have because things never stay the same!

By analysing and simply challenging these beliefs we can craft a more efficient belief that's in synchrony with the current life we lead. The most important reason to "update and optimise" is to prevent negative beliefs, beliefs that get in our way, beliefs that sap our happiness, hinder progress and dim our productivity from becoming part of our core belief system.

Here's an example: A little over a year ago, I was watching a video online of an amputee runner and I remember thinking how amazing it looked, that was it... I was thinking "that looks great", I was thinking "it would be great to run" but that's where it ended, a thought. In my mind, it was an impossibility.

For so many years, I simply dismissed running as an impossibility because of my partial foot amputation on my left leg, and it was. It was something I'd cemented in my mind and in many ways I'd come to accept. If I had have attempted to go for a trot while I had that useless limb, I would have spent a month in bed or on crutches, no thank you.

Even when I made the decision to amputate that leg, the beliefs I'd formed about my abilities remained. Amputating a leg is fairly straight forward really, you physically remove something. You can see a part of your body isn't there any longer and strangely enough, processing that fact (in my eyes anyway) was fairly simplistic. What wasn't simplistic was amputating that older, more entrenched belief about my physical abilities. A belief that had been there for so long, shelved, unchallenged, until I asked a very simple, vitally important question. "Why?"

"Why can't I run?"
"Why is it impossible?"
"Why will I be in too much pain?"

I actively began to question my thought processes, asking "why?" which turned into"why the hell not?!" to the point where it became a great way to unlock avenues of life that seemed to be shut off.

The situation had changed, I was now balanced, relatively pain free, but best of all wound free. That belief - "I'll never run again" needed an update, so out it went, replaced by a more cynical, wall breaking, curious mentality that spilled into other areas of my life in a positive way. All from asking one simple question.

Together with my prosthetist and the wonderful people at Ossur, up I got onto a brand new set of flex run legs and within a short few months, after 13 long years, I was running, belief smashed! It was almost as if a wall had been knocked over and on the other side, new pathways began to open up in front of me. I remember taking my first few strides, it was as though I was breaking shackles, the freedom of being able to move swiftly under my own steam was both liberating and exhilarating! I felt like Forrest Gump when he was breaking free of his Callipers as he ran away from rock throwing bullies!

Sometimes we can form these beliefs in moments of turmoil and crisis, often they are beneficial and essential in successfully overcoming the obstacle we face. When we recover, steady ourselves and build up to a place where we can confidently reassess these beliefs, be brave and do it - knock down any walls that stand between you and your full potential.

                                                                        Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

www.mikerolls.com.au

Connect with Mike!

Linkedin

Facebook

Twitter

The problem with saying "Yes"

One of the main points I bang on about is the importance of being open to new experiences that are unique, unusual, perhaps even a little crazy. But why do we all need to constantly challenge and stretch ourselves in order to stay ahead of the game and to avoid stagnation?

Let's dive into this and find out why there's far more to it than simply saying "yes".

When we are inspired by something, whether it's something we read, see, hear or experience, it's an amazing feeling that has the power to jolt us into action. An indescribable energy consumes us and compels us to act on said inspiration and enrich our lives under this newfound "superpower".

The problem is that it rarely lasts. Life, as usual, takes over and often the buzz will be short lived and we'll be expected to carry out this inspirational undertaking all by ourselves - often resulting in us taking the easy option of just giving it away altogether.

If we decide to throw in the towel when we give something new a try, we run the risk of creating a seriously dangerous precedent. Not just with future undertakings but with existing day-to-day challenges or hurdles we might encounter. When we give up, we can lose our competitive edge. When we give up, we make "giving up" an option from that point forth. That pattern can become habitual and let's be honest, we can become lazy as it's a far simpler way to deal with the tough stuff. If we continue to give up time and time again, after a while we don’t even realize we’re doing it. It'll become second nature and a default approach to anything we do, tainting our ability to overcome the tougher, more rewarding challenges we face.

When we say "yes" to a challenge, we feel brave, empowered and on top of the world. We might puff out our chest and make all of these bold statements about world domination (and on that day, we might actually believe it)! But the proof is, and always will be, in the doing.

Can you walk your talk? Can you follow through and give it everything you have? Only you know if you have thrown everything at a challenge, no one else. Your actions, the tenacity you choose to approach things with, and your level of determination will be the things that will set a valuable precedent in you. They will empower you from within to carry out any type of task you choose from that point forth! 

So forget about saying "yes" to a challenge. Forget about it all together unless your intentions are unwavering. A half hearted approach has the capability of infecting the future battles you'll face with a "giving up clause". When you approach your challenge, giving up must not be an option or even a passing thought.

                                    

                                                                      

Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

Connect with me today @

www.mikerolls.com.au

Linkedin

Facebook

Twitter

We all need a Challenge to keep us on track!

2015 has come and gone. Sure, it's "nice" to look back at what a wonderful job you did and give yourself a big pat on the back, but please, keep it brief.

Now is the perfect time to set yourself a new challenge. The year takes off with or without us so don't get caught napping! No-one likes playing catch up for 11 months. 

The word "Challenge" can have many meanings but in this case, I'm referring to the following meaning:

A task or situation that tests someone's abilities.

A challenge, whether it's professional or personal is great for our growth, confidence and mental wellbeing. It's kind of like those gutter guards at a tenpin bowing alley, it'll stop us from veering off the path by bumping us back on track when we falter. It helps us to maintain motivation and focus while also adding to the pool of mental resources we can draw on.

We need to approach a challenge with vigour and dogged determination. This way, we will reach our goal sooner and with greater success. 

To optimise your ability to rise to the challenge, it's crucial to be absolutely crystal clear on the reason "why" you've issued that particular challenge in the first place. It must also be a compelling reason. Does it add value to your life in a massive way? If something deep down in your bones isn't driving you to succeed, perhaps it's wise to rethink your challenge.

Oh, and forget about all those sparkly New Years resolutions you made a couple of weeks back. A recent study found that only 8% of New Years resolutions are actually fulfilled. Instead, why not lay all those resolutions out in front of you, pick the most important one, convert it into a challenge with a tangible outcome and get cracking?

Make whatever your challenge is count. Make it essential to your life, ensure it has the scope to improve your life. It will keep you focussed, stretch you, test you... it will ensure you stay well and truly on your toes (or foot shells, stumps... or whatever you have down there!)

Don't overdo it either - one challenge is more than enough to focus on for the year, but keep in mind the key word in the definition above - "Test" It must test you!

When setting your challenge for 2016, ask yourself these 4 key questions:

1. How important is it that I rise above and beyond this challenge?
(Answer must contain the words "bloody important" if not, try again...)

2. Will this stretch me, test me, twist me, turn me and spit me out a better person?

3. Will successfully overcoming the challenge enrich my life immensely?

4. Is my challenge actionable and tangible? Is there a clear end goal I'm aiming toward or is it just another doomed New Years resolution?

While the end goal of successfully overcoming your challenge is the focus. Don't forget to take a moment or two to enjoy yourself on your journey to it!

What challenge will you set for yourself in 2016?

Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

www.mikerolls.com.au

Connect with Mike!

Linkedin

Facebook

Twitter

The secret benefit of getting out of your Comfort Zone

How well equipped are you to handle a crisis?

“Get out of your comfort zone” Boooring.... It’s an overused, fluffy cliché I know.

Think for a moment. When you recall your most vivid memories, I'll bet they were when you were experiencing something different. Perhaps something exciting, challenging, awkward, sad...

The reason people use the saying is because it’s where the magic happens. A place where we experience new things. We leave the familiar and discover the unfamiliar, accelerating our learning and growth in the process. 

However, I believe there's a much more important reason why we must regularly step into a different zone. Put simply, it will better prepare us for any challenge, downturn or crisis that we may face in the future.

The word crisis comes from the Greek word Krisis, which literally means “to decide”. The most important aspect of navigating through turmoil is our ability to make sound decisions as we steer ourselves to safety. 

When we step outside our comfortable space, we feel uneasy, perhaps we even feel some level of anxiety. It’s this exact feeling that we must seek to experience so we become accustomed to it. A crisis can strike without warning and we’ll be thrust into that very feeling of unease, uncertainty, anxiousness and fear, whether we like it or not. The more accustomed we are to those feelings, the better equipped we’ll be to handle ourselves.

When we are outside the zone, we are challenged.

When we face a crisis – same same. 

Break away from routine, step into that uncomfortable space.

Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

www.mikerolls.com.au

Connect with Mike!

Linkedin

Facebook

Twitter

Are you looking the wrong way?

If we are always focussed on the negatives in our lives then ultimately, that's how we will feel.

When we fall into a rut or hit a hurdle (perhaps even a few in succession), it's easy to wonder, "Why do I have all the bad luck?" 

Sometimes the effects of a crisis linger for far longer than they should and it's often for a very simple reason - We have become so fixated and "zoomed in" on the negatives of the situation that we completely blind ourselves to any possible way out. It's a vicious cycle and at worst, it can set us on a free fall that can be difficult to arrest. We need to make sure that we don't become preoccupied on the negatives, and one way that we can do this is to distract ourselves from the problem at hand.

One example of this that many of us might be familiar with is when you have a fight with a partner or friend. It might be at home, in a restaurant or in the car, but there's usually that moment of awkward silence when you're negative thoughts about the fight are flying around and around in your head. But, then your partner or friend pulls a stupid face or makes a joke, and almost instantly the mood swings from negative to positive. It might take more than one funny face, but before you know it the distraction disrupts the negative thoughts and you can start to turn around your thoughts and mood and you might even forget what you were fighting over in the first place.

You may have heard of the term "Phantom pain". It's a neurological condition that affects amputees. We feel pain in a limb that's not there. For me it's more often an itch I literally can't scratch, it drives me crazy! It varies in severity from person to person but can be extremely debilitating. 

Last week I went swimming for the first time in a long time. Later that night when I was lying in bed, I had the worst phantom pain I've ever had before. I think the feeling of being weightless and kicking my legs in the water might have fired up the nerve endings in my leg. The pain was in my right foot and it felt as though someone was stabbing me with a long sharp knife. Every 2 minutes...bang! My leg would flinch from the shooting pain in a foot that didn't exist! It's the strangest feeling.

This went on for hours and when there was no way I could get to sleep, I decided that enough was enough. I jumped up (after I popped on my legs), boiled the kettle, filled up a hot water bottle and went back to bed. I took off the cover and placed it on my opposite thigh. It was a little hot but the heat distracted me from focussing solely on my right leg, and in turn, it reduced both the pain and the frequency of the phantom pain. Finally, I could nod off to sleep.

Sometimes by focussing on something other than the problem at hand, we can distract ourselves enough to reduce the problem's severity. When we we are preoccupied with the problem and it's symptoms, it can intensify and compound it. Focussing on other things can distract us for long enough to find a solution or gain perspective, giving ourselves a far greater chance of overcoming it.

Some issues are certainly harder to ignore than others. Be mindful when smaller, trivial matters or problems take up more of your time and energy than they're worth and begin to affect how you feel. 

Change it up and refocus your energy on a solution!

Remember, if we are always focussed on the negatives in our lives then ultimately, that's how we will feel.
                       

  "Creating a distraction will ease the severity of the symptom!"

                                                                      

Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

Connect with me today @

www.mikerolls.com.au

Linkedin

Facebook

Twitter

Break out of the "Comparison Funk"

We are taught many lessons throughout our lives. We learn every day through education, our careers, relationships, social lives... I believe the most valuable lessons we can learn are through our tougher life experiences and hardships.

One debilitating habit that needs to be stamped out and left behind for good, is comparing ourselves and our circumstances to others. It's perfectly normal and even beneficial to look up to, admire and even idolise others. It can push us to better ourselves, keep us focussed and even instil stronger life values and self belief. However, be careful not to make unfair comparisons between your own situation and that of the "looked up to", "admired" and "idolised". Comparisons can turn into disappointment, demotivation and sometimes even jealousy and trick us into focussing on the wrong areas all together. You'll never be the same as someone else, but you can be just as good in your own way!

The truth is, we can't possibly be the best at every endeavour and we're all at various stages of a lengthy journey. It's simply unfair, to compare.

Let me share a story about the early stages of my rehabilitation. A young guy who was the same age as me at the time (18) was admitted to rehab a few weeks after I arrived. He'd come off his dirt bike travelling at 140kmh wearing shorts and a singlet. Broken ankle, arm, jaw and he'd lost his right leg below the knee. I remember thinking how lucky he was to be alive. I also remember watching him churn through his rehab program like a champion and literally within days, he was up standing on his new leg.

I remember comparing that to my own situation where just trying to sit upright for 5 minutes without throwing up was a massive challenge. Within a couple of weeks he was riding the exercise bike, walking with a stick... then without a stick. Finally he was discharged and free to go home just over 3 weeks after arriving... 3 weeks!

Meanwhile, my own progress seemed like it was non-existent and while I was inspired by his determination and happy to see him doing so well, it made me feel helpless. The light at the end of the tunnel I was trying so hard to focus on dimmed and the sobering realisation of how far behind him I really was hit me with force.

I remember how negativity crept into my mind when I was comparing our vastly different situations. I wanted to accelerate my return to health, what I required was patience. I wanted to go home, but I couldn't even transfer from a wheelchair to a damn car yet. I wanted to walk, but I had to get the hang of being upright first.

I made the decision to focus on myself and my own situation for what it was. I refocussed, concentrated on small goals and worked hard to get there.  It may have taken weeks, months even, to see any progress but I did get there. Sitting, standing...walking, my progress became something I valued. No longer comparing myself with anyone lifted my progression and mindset and it was easier than you might think.

Here's 3 easy steps to break out of a "Comparison funk" and shift back into a more positive, productive mindset:

* Be selfish - Focus on yourself for a while, on your own strengths. Constantly focussing on the things others do and things we don't control will be to our detriment.

* Quit comparing - Get out of the "grass is greener" mindset. Use those comparisons as inspiration to trigger action, not jealousy!

* Carve your own path - A brilliant quote I read recently from Ralph Waldo Emerson, a 19th century poet who was seen as a champion of individualism, reads " Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail" Says it all really...

Don't be afraid to walk a unique path. It's great to model yourself on the success stories of others but be your own success story, take risks and when you fall, don't be afraid to jump straight back up!

You can get there - make the only variable "when", never "if"

Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

www.mikerolls.com.au

Connect with Mike!

Linkedin

Facebook

Twitter

Eliminate complaints, increase positivity.

"Nothing ever works for me!" "Why can't my life be easier?" "I wish things were different..."

We all know them and we all avoid them...The Serial Complainer!
No matter what the circumstance, they're unhappy with something, anything, everything and they don't mind letting the world know about it either (several times over).

First up, let's define what a complaint is by definition:

To express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something

There are differing opinions on the effects of complaining. Some psychologists believe in the emotional relief it provides, while others believe that ultimately, we end up with decreased mood.

Neuro-scientific research suggests that we become more negative ourselves when we are subjected to a long winded gripe session. Sometimes, the only way around it is to create distance between the complainer and the complainee.

If that's not an option and you can't walk away, i.e. work colleague, family member, siamese twin, then perhaps simply ask them the question "What are you going to do about it?" They might walk away and take their complaints to someone else (win) or they might actually come up with a solution ( bigger win).

We all have things in our lives that we could complain about, seek sympathy or attention for. This is the reason why we complain in the first place isn't it?
But people are busy and spare time is too precious to spend on negativity. It drags us down and we end up dreading any impending interaction we have with that person in the future - our subconscious lets out a large groan while consciously, we plan to, well, make other plans...

I don't want to sound overly negative myself, but do you fit the description above? Be honest... do you?
If you answered 'yes' then don't worry - what's wonderful, is that we can all change and it isn't as hard as you might think.

Life as a double amputee comes with it's challenges, but I learnt very early on about the dangers of complaining. Not only does it have the ability to drag others down around you, it can be detrimental for your own mental wellbeing as it extinguishes hope and can become habitual.

You may have come across various "Complaining challenges" - where you don't complain for 7 days, 2 weeks or 21 days...
Although they sound a little "gimmicky" the thought process behind them is sound, with overwhelming positive results from participants.

Here's 3 simple steps to injecting some better vibes into your life:

• Awareness - Be aware and mindful of what and how you speak in your everyday conversations. Every time you slip - pinch yourself...hard! It will condition you to stop complaining.
• Remedy - Now that you are aware of the magnitude - replace those usual complaints that pop out with constructive solutions instead. For example: "I hate the cold weather" turns into "I hate the cold weather but it's nice to know I don't have leprosy" Kidding, but you get the idea! Follow a gripe with a solution or positive, productive finish.
• Benefits - Think about the positives your new found "complaint free" existence has brought you. You no longer sweat the small stuff and you're practically a master capable of taking on any challenge! Well, perhaps not just yet but you'll get there.

And lastly, just remember that somebody, somewhere, has got it a lot tougher than you...

Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

Connect with Mike 

Linkedin

Facebook

Twitter