Winning isn't everything, but trying to win is.

"Winning isn't everything, BUT trying to win is"

When I was younger I remember hearing it all the time; At athletics days, swimming carnivals and weekend sports. Anywhere where there was any form of competition.

I have a problem with this saying. Here's why...

When we don't demand a persons absolute best effort, we ingrain an attitude that a mediocre performance is enough. It isn't. 

There is nothing more frustrating than seeing someone give up. Australia is an incredibly proud sporting nation - throwing in the towel goes against our culture. Saying winning isn't everything may make someone feel better in the short term, but does damage in the long term. This isn't only in relation to sport either. An academic pursuit,a career goal, a life long dream, all of these require a persons very best effort to achieve.

A determined and unwavering "effort" in all pursuits is critical behaviour that is essential in moulding a competitive life ethic, especially in our younger generations. If we are accepting mediocre performances, the will and desire we desperately need for our careers and professional lives won't mature into what it should and needs to be.

In any work place, it would be fair to assume that you wouldn't get a pat on the back for producing sub standard work. You might be reprimanded or even worse, lose your job. There is an expectation of excellence, anything less won't have you scaling the heights of the company ladder. 

Out of all the traits displayed by highly successful humans, athletes, professionals and leaders, determination and drive is, in my opinion, by far the most important. The ability to embrace  challenges and face them head on with a healthy level of gusto is crucial!

I believe that without stubborn determination and a "never say die - fight to the finish mindset", I would have had a very different outcome when fighting Meningococcal disease at the age of 18.

Having a competitive mindset is the essential ingredient to achieving difficult, worthwhile goals. 

I've always had a strong desire to win in anything I tried. I believe that desire translated on a pure level into my ability to fight when I was more likely to die than live. A profound will kicked in, just as it did when I was losing in tennis, under the pump playing football or a few strokes behind in a round of golf. When you have a fierce winning mindset, your thoughts don't allow in negativity, it becomes simple - succeed, fight and persist at all costs.

Sure, I agree that winning isn't everything. We will all fail at some point. But we can't be forgiven for a lack of effort, there really isn't any excuse.

Fight for what you want and fight hard because if you do, regardless of the result, there will be no regrets. 

    Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

www.mikerolls.com.au

Find your "Upside"

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Bulletproof Body Image

I was both surprised and saddened to hear that according to the Mission Australia youth survey 2013, body image is the third greatest area of concern for young people aged between 11 and 25 in Australia. A massive 42.1% of females indicated that body image was a major concern.

What is body image?

"Body image is your attitude towards your body - how you see yourself, how you think and feel about the way you look and how you think others perceive you. Your body image can be influenced by your own beliefs and attitudes as well as those of society, the media and peer groups."

So how do we become happier, prouder and more confident in our bodies?

Those who ridicule others by the way they look do so out of insecurity and are threatened by the differences of others. One of the most empowering things we can all do is to embrace our differences and uniqueness and be proud of them. Differences are what makes life interesting - they add diversity and character to individuals. One of the most debilitating things we can do is make comparisons with others - it's a massive mistake.

We all have elements of ourselves that aren't exactly the way we would like. In todays society, there is a real emphasis placed on "perfection" thanks to television, magazines and media. The reality is entirely different because nobody is perfect, if there were such a thing as the perfect person then we would have a benchmark for perfection. We all have flaws, we might dislike certain things about ourselves that others adore about us and without them, we simply wouldn't be us. Our perception of ourselves might be entirely different to the perception of others and we are the harshest of critics.

Growing up, I don't have too many memories of feeling concerned, embarrassed or anxious about my body. Perhaps my skinny legs were the only thing I occasionally found myself being self conscious about. Ironically, those skinny legs are now gone and have been replaced by even skinnier metallic prosthetics that look nothing like the flesh and bone that were once there. As one little girl recently said, "Look Mummy! It's a robot-skeleton!"

How do I accept and embrace this unique and often confronting appearance? How do I walk around in shorts with any sort of confidence? It might seem unrealistic to some, but I love it!

Looking at others and comparing myself in any way would be a fruitless exercise. They're not going to grow back, so I have learnt to embrace them, be proud of them and look at them as a reminder that they are now just a part of what makes me ME.

We each get one body, so we must learn to love it in order to focus on a more productive, positive existence. Here are 3 simple ways we can all learn to love our bodies:

1.  Own yourself - Learn to like what you see in the mirror. Own the quirks and differences that make you unique and differentiate you from the crowds. Project confidence by being proud and comfortable in your own skin

2.  Be kind - Be kind to your body, nourish it with the right foods and exercise regularly.

3.  Ignore ignorance - I know it is easier said than done, but we need to try to understand that when others say unkind things about our appearance, it's a flaw on their side, not ours.

Move forward with confidence, embrace what makes you different and flaunt it to the world rather than hiding it away.

Mike Rolls

Speaker | Survivor

www.mikerolls.com.au

Find your "Upside"

Amputate dead weight

It's important to reassess areas of our lives from time to time. We have regular check ups. Blood pressure, teeth, cars, house security...  is it too much to ask that we give our lives as a whole a much needed tune up?
Sometimes we need to cut off areas of our lives that no longer serve us, or worse, are taking us down a path that is detrimental to our long term health and wellbeing.

In 2009 was forced to make a choice. I had to decide what to do about my troublesome left leg, I had an infection and needed some form of surgery. While there were many options and opinions on what I should do, I took the drastic option to cut it off. This wasn't supported by doctors as a first option but I needed to take control. I could see the difficulties the other surgeries would bring as well as the value a second leg amputation (giving me two prosthetic legs) would provide me. I could finally move on with confidence and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Now I use a similar method to take care of all areas of my life. Here is how we can all actively amputate dead weight.

First, write a list:
Include everything from your regular commitments, how you choose to spend your free time, habitual behaviours, relationships (professional and personal) foods you eat regularly etc. Basically anything that is a consistent part of your life.

Second, categorise your list:
Think about each item and ask yourself honestly, "does this add or subtract from my life?"
Now place either a plus or a minus next to each item.

Third, identify dead weight:
Look carefully at the negatives. Imagine what your life would be like if you eliminated these things that are clearly detracting from it.

Fourth, Commit to the cull.
Make a decision to remove this negative influence from your life once and for all. Shut the door on that element, making room for newer, more positive things in it's place.

Sometimes we are aware certain things aren't good for us, but we continue on as normal, put up with them and hope they eventually sort themselves out. Cutting negatives from your life, taking control and making difficult but necessary decisions is not only beneficial, but empowering and motivating as well.

In 2009, I cut off my second leg below the knee.

I chose to 'amputate dead weight' that was a threat to my future wellbeing.  I refused to drag around this dead weight any longer - I decided to set myself free.

What parts of your life can you cut off, that will set you free?

Mike Rolls

Speaker * Survivor

www.mikerolls.com.au

Find your "Upside"

89 Storeys in 5 paragraphs!

A few weeks ago I was asked to be an ambassador for this years "Eureka Climb" An event that supports 2 amazing charities, Whitelion and Interplast. The Eureka tower is a massive 297 metres high, 89 storeys and 1622 steps in total. Each year thousands of participants take the challenge and get behind this worthwhile initiative.

Initially I was a little apprehensive as I hadn't done any type of stair training and it was less than 2 weeks till the launch day (which the ambassadors would climb at) for corporate partners and sponsors. I'm a massive believer in simply "having a go" so I agreed and made a promise to myself that unless I was physically unable to go on, i.e: I had a leg issue or the like... that I would give it my absolute best shot.

The event launch day arrived and we all gathered around the bottom in preparation for the climb, it was wonderful to meet some of the fellow ambassadors including professional tower climber Mark Bourne and Tristan Miller, an inspirational guy, who in 2010 completed an incredible 52 marathons in 52 weeks!

Off we went, of course I let Mark go before me as I didn't want to upset him by beating him to the top! As the crew slowly disappeared up the stairwell, I began my ascent. I started with 10 floors without a break, then stopped to catch my breath. It was hard to breathe in the confined stairwell but after a minute or so, I was ready to roll again. I thought I'd bang out another 10 storeys, however this time I only managed 7. 17 down, only 72 to go - easy right? I started to get into the groove of things and slowly but surely I was making progress. The halfway point!! Level 45! By this stage I felt very alone. The chatter and panting of the other climbers in front had long disappeared. I wondered, were they finished? How long had I been going? I continued, sweating, heaving. My legs were burning but the pain was manageable and I embraced it. The thought of giving up never entered my mind, even if I was there all day I was going to finish. Finally, two more flights to go, then just one. The final few steps were the best and possibly the easiest of all - I'd made it! Last place by a mile but the feeling of completing it was more than enough. Stoked!

There were times during the climb where it would have been easier to say "well, at least I got half way" and jump in the lift, but that mentality is defeatist and doesn't serve us well. Finding ways to push on as opposed to looking for an out will give us the greatest sense of achievement. Taking that easy option, avoiding a little pain or discomfort may be appealing in the immediate sense, but how beneficial will it be long term? How will it serve us when we are faced with tough moments or decisions in the future?

Fight on through difficult times and reap the rewards!

Mike Rolls 

Speaker * Survivor

Find your "Upside"
www.mikerolls.com.au

Why everyone can boost their percentage!

How often do we say "I really should...." or "I've been meaning to...." or "I'm going to"...

For one reason or another procrastination can set in and excuses take the place of, and destroy action. 

In 2009 I had elective surgery to amputate my left leg, my second leg, below the knee. This decision followed a regular checkup with a doc at my rehab centre. During the check up she examined results of a recent scan on my existing foot and said something to me I'll never ever forget...

"Given you have a bone infection in your foot, and have had for quite some time by the looks of it - your body has been running at a lower percentage than it would normally"

"My body was running at a lower percentage than it would normally?!" 

This got me thinking, she was spot on. The best word to describe my pre op state would have to be "sluggish". Inferior energy levels, decreased appetite, fatigue... and those were just the physical symptoms. My mental and emotional states were also affected.

Following the surgery and after I was completely healed, I made a conscious effort to monitor my physical state - sure enough, I noticed a boost. A boost in almost every area! I was adding positive percentage to my overall state. This had significant flow on effects for me and I started to apply the percentage boosting theory to all areas of my life - I began to exercise more, improved my diet and even went back to study. As my overall percentage increased, I found that my mood and overall happiness improved with it. It was a valuable gift to give to not only myself, but also to those closest to me.

If you think about your current life state on a percentage level - what percentage are you running at? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? 

It would be fair to say that someone who chooses to drink soft drink regularly for example, would notice significant positive change in certain areas of their life if they replaced it with water. This article, as an example -
http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/healthy-drinks/soft-drinks-and-disease/
indicates the health risks of soft drink.

Of course, reaching maximum percentage in all areas would be impossible, but we can all strive to top up our percentage points to benefit not only ourselves but those around us. We become happier and healthier and the ripple effects will flow to family, friends and the world in general. We increase our ability to contribute more in every way while giving ourselves a precious gift also.

I believe it's essential to seek growth, pursue excellence and contribute each and every day. Why not make those tasks easier on yourself?

 Mike Rolls

 Speaker - Survivor

Right under our nose....

One of the most important things to me during my adolescence was my social circle. Like most teenagers, I had a busy social life, as well as large friendship circles at school and through my involvement in sport.

I remember so clearly thinking that adults knew nothing about the way the world "really was" and I would pay far more attention to my friends or to peers I looked up to, admired or idolised. It's normal... I remember plenty of discussions with friends about nagging mums and demanding dads, at times, we thought the whole world was against us.

The world has changed a great deal since I was at school. We have well and truly entered an age where technology and communication has become a huge part of life. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram... the list goes on. Being connected with others takes time and energy and is so important to us, especially teens and adolescents. It's easy to get caught up in our online existence and persona, that it can be just as easy to miss the true value our closest relationships provide.

One important lesson I learnt when I went through a traumatic event that I wanted to share was this:

In crisis, the importance of our day to day "issues" become irrelevant, and the people that matter most will come to the fore - always.

I remember prior to becoming ill, I had all these "stresses" in my life,  or so it seemed.... What career path to take? Where would I work part time? How can I impress that girl I was keen on? How would I survive the trials and tribulations of being a young adult? How I would mend a friendship with someone I wasn't even that close to? How I could be more fashionable? and so on....

When that traumatic event came... Guess what, none of those questions mattered anymore.
When I woke up and throughout my recovery, the people that mattered most were there, always.
The day to day issues evaporated and were now completely insignificant. That taught me so much, it taught me to be thankful, to be appreciative of the love and care of those closest, but most of all it taught me the importance of not letting our day to day struggles become larger than they actually are.

Take a step back, breathe, look at what you have, be grateful for it.

                              
                                                          Mike Rolls
                                                    Speaker - Survivor

Risk = Growth

In an earlier post  http://mikerolls6.blogspot.com.au/2014/05/use-these-4-steps-to-enter-different.html
I spoke about being comfortable with risk. That doesn't mean taking unrealistic risks that may result in drastic consequences, but weighing up the pros and cons of any situation, in order to make a decision that will be beneficial to our lives. In my experience, hard decisions, in particular risk laden decisions have the most power to shape us.

In 2009 I was faced with a life changing decision. I wasn't always a double below knee amputee, in fact, I spent 8 years with a partial foot amputation on my left leg that was painful and problematic. I noticed I was experiencing increased pain in my foot and decided that I should have it checked out... The diagnosis - Osteomyelitis (an infection in the bone) with no chance of it improving or disappearing. Initially, there was worry, followed by uncertainty which turned into fear at the prospect of more surgery.

I made a choice to be proactive about the decision I was faced with, to educate myself about all possibilities and scenarios that may eventuate. First step - evaluate risk.

In total I went to 5 specialists for advice. I wanted and needed to approach this with my eyes wide open, it was essential that I became comfortable with the risks and that I also owned my decision and assumed total responsibility for my future.
There were many suggestions and recommendations for other surgeries that would involve extended stays in hospital and long rehabilitation times, none of which I was interested in.
In my mind, I knew deep down what my ideal outcome would look like - I wanted to amputate below the knee...
When I told people of this desire, I was met with a range of reactions, many of them were along the lines of "that's crazy!" or "why would you choose to do that?" I can understand why it may have seemed so drastic to others but up to that point in my life, my strongest, most dominant leg was always my prosthesis - I wanted to put an end to the pain and ongoing issues I had with my left leg. I also wanted to gain a sense of psychological closure and move forward with my life.

The benefits, when measured against the risks, ultimately allowed me to make that decision and be entirely comfortable with it.
Thankfully, the surgery went exceptionally well and I was up and going in a very short amount of time.

Since then my life has changed for the better. Taking that risk, albeit a risk I had to take, wasn't just physically beneficial to my life, but emotionally and mentally beneficial as well.
I believe making tough decisions will make you stronger, having the courage to make a change to something that detracts from your life is incredibly empowering.

Sometimes we make these decisions because they need to be made, whereas sometimes they are thrust upon us. Sometimes we seek to change the things we want to improve and often these decisions come with consequences and risk. Making yourself aware of these risks through research and education, then becoming comfortable with them can enable you to make huge improvements in your life.

"There's no reward in life without risk" - Barry J Farber

                                        Mike Rolls - Enabling through perspective

                                                          Speaker - Survivor